The True Nature of Valentine's Day

This post is a bit belated, since Valentine’s Day was actually two days ago! However, the point of writing this blog is in response to various emails I have received around this subject. Single people have written to discuss the feeling of loneliness on Valentine’s Day – despite knowing there is only One-ness. Married people have written about how lonely they feel within their relationship, especially when they didn’t receive a Valentine’s card!

Anything which is made up of need, fear, expectation and insecurity is nothing to do with the true nature of ‘relationship’, of love.

Well it all may sound quite trivial to some people, but I think it raises an important issue about love and partnership.

‘Relationship’ is not an exclusive thing and therefore we can have no personal expectations from it. Love is about inclusiveness - it is who we are – Being is Love. So the best thing you can do on Valentine’s day and on every day of the year, is to love lavishly . Rest back in the immensity of Being and enjoy your relationship with your true Self-hood, with God. This is true completeness.

If you feel lacking in Love, then love all the more, and know that there is no lack of any kind in Being. No matter how it appears on the surface, there is no truth in the story of lack.

For instance, if you see a couple walking down the street hand-in-hand and so ‘in love’ , it is actually Being or God, walking hand-in-hand with Itself. Even the witnessing of the couple is only part of your consciousness, your dream, so you cannot be excluded from that LOVE. You are within it. You can never be outside of love because you can never be outside of who you are. So Happy Valentine’s Day to yourself, from yourself. 

P. N. D. D (or: Post Non-Duality Depression)

Because I am so often asked about this, I decided to write about it in today’s BLOG.

There are as many ways about talking about Nonduality as there are names for what it is attempting to describe. When we talk about Nonduality we essentially mean ‘not – two – ness’ so therefore we are talking about Oneness – One. We can also name Oneness, : ‘THIS’ or ‘IT’ (for people who are uncomfortable with the name ‘GOD’) . It is also known as ‘BEING’ or Spirit - the ‘Vastness’ - Truth – Love - Mind - Life – the Way - etc. etc.
So if we are talking about Oneness and not Two-ness then everything is Oneness and included in it and nothing can be outside of it, and we are also constituted and composed of it – hence we are spiritual in substance.

There are no separate beings there is only BEING but in the appearance, Oneness has many ‘faces’ to it - or facets - like the facets reflected in a diamond. One facet of Being could be your dog – another, your chairs and tables, another, your neighbour, and another facet is an apparent ‘you’ etc. And this is the TRUTH of what we are – we are all God – this is our essential BEING. For this reason, it is true that nothing we do, think or say really matters or has any importance, as it cannot change the way things are. And since we are all God whether we realise it or not, it simply doesn’t matter whether this is ‘seen’ or not.

HOWEVER - when some people hear this, they get stuck at the ‘nothing really matters’ bit, and then fall into a pit of depression and even despair in some cases, because they have missed the point entirely. They will often say things like : ‘I use to love music but now I don’t because there’s no point to it.’ - or: ‘ I use to love my work which was helping people, but since there aren’t any people, there’s no point any more’ - or ‘ I’ve become a recluse because I can’t see the point in talking to people because everything they say is so trivial’ , and most commonly: ‘ I can’t talk to my partner any more because they just don’t understand about Nonduality’.

But this is not what is meant in the teaching of Nonduality and is NOT what the teaching is about!

Just the opposite! When we see through the veil of separation and realise the truth of Oneness, there is the most delicious freedom . One sees that because nothing is really important, then we can play with whatsoever arises in the moment. Now, even if it’s not ‘seen’ – even if it’s just a load of intellectual concepts to you, that still doesn’t matter at all. You don’t HAVE to see it , because even just hearing the TRUTH – because it is the Truth - can slowly, over time cause a fundamental change in perspective – in other words – Truth works on you and you don’t have to do anything except be open to it.

It is in the vibrant ALIVENESS of this present moment where your true Being/God, can be glimpsed. And this present moment is comprised of anything at all that’s happening. The glorious present is where the Presence of your Being resides. So the Present can include the joy of helping another apparent individual – it can include a wonderfully trivial conversation with a friend or partner – it can include watching a film on TV - it includes music, laughter, eating spaghetti – ANYTHING. Nothing is ex-cluded - nothing is outside of THIS.
And since Being is everything it also includes seeking and that’s why it doesn’t matter whether you are a seeker or a see-er – it really doesn’t. A seek-er and a see-er are all the same Oneness – how could they not be?

Finally, because God is ‘All-in All’ there is every reason to be joyful. God is the way and illumines the way. Whatever job or hobby you have – it’s there to be enjoyed. This amazing LIFE is here right now to be enjoyed. There is nothing you have to ‘not do’ any more and no people you have to avoid because everything is GOD/LIFE/BEING . It is all part of the wonderful dream of being alive. This is where the JOY lies – in the here and now because that’s all we have and it’s wonderful. All the answers you’ll ever need to any apparent problem that presently arises can all be found by resting back in the Vastness of who you truly are. ‘Be still and know that I am GOD’ . You can refuse to be concerned about anything because all that is ever going on is God, and whether you know this as Truth or not, it doesn’t matter – because the Truth is True and eventually that Truth will melt down all your unconscious barriers till the light of God is truly seen, and all you have to do is to be open to that possibility.

What is the difference between 'Seeker' and See-ER?

Many people write to me about the 'struggle of the seeker', but there doesn't have to be any struggle because the 'SeeKer' and the 'SeeER' are all the same One-ness. The only difference is the 'K' and if you add and 'O' to that 'K'- you have: 'OK'. And everything is OK.
This is not meant to be flippant, but if you can really see that the seeker and the see-er are one and the same, where else is there to go? Nowhere which becomes: 'Now-Here!'

Wonderful things are Happening

It is a scientific Truth, that because God is ALL, you don't need to be concerned about anything because WONDERFUL things are happening. Do not entertain any other idea.

You cannot be 'tired of Being' because Being is your home. You don't exist already. There's nothing to dissolve and no real problems in REALITY.

Nonduality cannot answer problems - it has no answers. There is no 'help' here. Nonduality is the simple Truth of who we truly are. Everything else is just a mockery of Truth. The mind is the great mocker.
You are NOT your thoughts. There is no 'you' to dissolve. There are only thoughts.

So simply put on your shoes, when you are putting on your shoes. Only drink tea when you are drinking tea. Just empty your trash when you are emptying your trash. Let what you are presently engaged in take centre stage - and the arising thoughts will just carry on without you in the background. There is nothing 'you' have to do and there is nothing you have ever done!

'The Seeker's End'

The end of all seeking is the realisation that there are no answers! That's such a relief! No more needing answers or reasons for things like people's actions or behaviour or your own actions or behaviour. Since there truly are no answers and that IS the Truth, you can just give up looking for them. It's great!

Last night I went to see a brilliant movie by the Coen Brothers called: 'The Serious Man'. They have got Nonduality sewn up beautifully. And just like in a Satsang/Nonduality meetings, people's minds can fight with the truth of 'No Answers'. They can get angry, desparate or even walk out. This is how many people have felt about this movie - they either love it and truly get it, or they are bored or angry at having wasted their time and money on it.

So what's to get?

Well at the risk of spoiling it for many people who haven't seen it yet, I will just say that the movie throws up lots of strange and seemingly irrational behaviour, actions and situations. The film-makers have deliberately created a film that poses loads of questions and then doesn't supply any answers.

The main character's life is falling apart so he consults three rabbis. But they do not answer his questions, instead they offer him stories and anecdotes.
As the viewer, you are dying to know what happens in the end. Or why someone did what they did. But you never find out! Over and over things occur and huge questions arise in your head and you are bursting to know some answers and have some understanding, yet you are totally denied this relief. Even the end of the film seems to happen so suddenly that it's almost shocking! (Typical Coen Brothers!)

So what's the point of the movie?
To me it beautifully demonstrated that there are no real answers to anything. No reasons for things. Things just happen and that's all! There are absolutely no answers - no reasons why.

This is all that needs to be seen. You can stop getting frustrated right now, because the end of all seeking is simply the realisation that there are no answers! From then on, seeking really does start to dissipate and life is lived with considerably more ease.

So from now on, every time a question pops up in your mind, immediately recognize that it is un-answerable - that you'll never know what, how or why, and maybe you'll begin to find that the fiery intensity of seeking starts to lessen and lessen, till all there is, is space and expansion where all the seeking use to be; because the end of all seeking is seeing that there are no answers. And I reccommend you all to see 'A Serious Man'! Love Mandi

'The Seeker's End'.

'Does there need to be a 'trigger?'

Today I am responding to the question that I am so often asked, which is along the lines of: 'does there need to be a 'trigger' or a precipitous event in order for me to 'see' who I truly AM? Or to become enlightened or Liberated or whatever?

The only answer to this is that it is completely the wrong question.

The reason that everything ever spoken or written about Nonduality is so frustrating to the human mind, is that it is unique, in that there are no answers.

We are talking about the ultimate mystery here: the Source - Divine Mind - God - perfect, pure Being. And because it is not 'within us' but it is us`- who we are and of what we are comprised, then to try and find it by active looking or philosophising is always going to be like a dog chasing it's tail. How can a dog find it's own 'dogginess' if it is already a dog?

The very nature of One's self is Selfhood or 'Being'. The key to seeing it is just the simple realisation that you can't find yourself because you already are yourself.That's all the realisation is, and then the seeking for life to be any different from that which it is presently, just comes to an end. It can simply happen in an instant. It doesn't have to take years of struggle, although for some people it might seem to do.For instance, if you are a person who believes that you don't get anywhere without a struggle, then that might be the way you dream it up. There doesn't have to be a 'trigger' or a definite moment - or there could be - yet it certainly isn't neccessary.

In my book 'The Joy of No Self' and also in my interview on Conscious.tv, I have referred to a time when I had a crash on my motorbike followed by a rising upwards and suddenly seeing through people, solid objects and everything - seeing beyond the dream,if you like.
However, although that gave me a glimpse of the Truth, and I lost all fear of death, it was all largely irrelevant. It was years later that Truth began to dawn and darkness gave way to Light and gradually there was less and less of 'me' (and if you saw me, that's no mean feat! lol!) Then one morning I woke up and 'Being' had totally taken over and all sense of personal identity - of myself as a separate person dissolved. Now that doesn't mean the human experience disappears - of course not. Life goes on the same but the stories of 'me' and 'my life' are just seen beyond and no longer believed in, that's all. But there is no state of 'constant bliss' for Mandi or for ANYONE no matter how good a story of enlightenment they tell! Because there is no 'constant'. And this is where we get to the core of all seeking:

Fairy stories of enlightened beings that wear fancy-dress, have fancy names and live in a constant blissed-out stste - are in the realms of Myth and magic - like the idea of a 'happy ever afer' in fairytales. How can there be an 'after' or a 'before' when there is only ever this present moment? If this present moment is filled with back-ache, front-ache or head-ache, then that's all that's going on right now. Yet if this moment is filled with a delicious curry - then this moment is nothing but stimulating, delicous flavours! It's all the same moment that's why there can be no 'path' or 'progression' - or di-gression,for that matter.

So then what is a 'trigger?' - the very word 'trigger' sounds like something is expected to happen next! But how can there be a 'next' when there is only a NOW?????
So the answer to the question of 'does there have to be a trigger?' or 'how do I get enlightened?'or whatever, is STOP ASKING THE QUESTION - you probably won't be able to, but at least realise that you will never get an answer! And If you do, BEWARE!!!!